by Reinder Dijkhuis and Geir Strøm
In the movies, Jane and X8.5 occasionally go to the beach resort of Algol 215. Earthside beaches long having become unusable for any creature with less than 6 tentacles, some clever entrepreneurs have built a mini-orb in deep space, replicating a 20th Century beach resort. Staying there costs a pretty penny but comes as a free benefit to secret agents.
This publicity shot for the "Jane" movie The Insidious Dr. Cheese was made by the esteemed photographer Lena Stiefeldraht. The photographer took quite a fancy to the heroically-proportioned Johnny Schwarzenmuller who played the part of X8.5. At a later point in their relationship, this would lead to trouble as business and pleasure got increasingly mixed up. This early snapshot, from Miss Stiefeldraht's private files, shows Schwarzenmuller innocently hamming it up before the camera, knowing little of what was on Miss Stiefeldraht's mind at the time.
Before the year was over, Johnny Schwarzenmuller and Miss Stiefeldraht would openly discuss the possibility of mass production of artificial humans created from their genetic material, although Schwarzenmuller would invariably quip that he thought the old-fashioned way was good enough for him.
Eventually, Jane would uncover evidence that Miss Stiefeldraht was a spy intent on making Schwarzenmuller defect to the Orbital German Empire. Throughout her life, Miss Stiefeldraht has insisted that this charge had been trumped up and the evidence faked. However, she was sent back to the Empire, which a few decades later became an important source of highly-trained body doubles for the blond and muscular actors in the "Jane" movies.
As a form of entertainment, the swimsuit special was unknown in the Middle Ages, and one attempt by the Clwydian monk Reinaldus Groninganus to introduce it flopped as a result of puzzlement on the part of his subjects. Here's why.