White House in Orbit: cast of characters

	Jane A newly-recruited Seriously Secret Service agent who is a woman, and who is smart, honest and dependable. She doesn't have a chance in hell of making it in an organisation where the glass ceiling blocks the careers of the smart, honest and dependable.
	X 8 1/2 One of the Orbital United States' top secret agents. Joined the Seriously Secret Service so he could get lots of food, drinks and women. Got them (bastard). Still has excellent musculature (bastard). Life is an endless party to X8 1/2.
	President Samuel Theodore Perkins President of the Orbital United States. A Progressive Republican, Perkins has made himself one of the most revered figures in American history. Actually, he has many enemies who think he's a complete buffoon, but they've been saying that for four Presidential terms now, so that shows how much they know.
	Professor Thelonious Buttumsup This most distinguished experimental scientist of his generation first became famous when he won the 3015 Nobel Biology Prize for his research into human longevity, which he had been conducting since 2834. This award was revoked after he switched to a career in World Domination Schemes, in which he was equally succesful until President Perkins bought him out in 3026. Since then, he has turned his able brain to a wide range of subjects including robotics, artificial intelligence, quantum and sub-quantum physics, biochemistry, genetics, time travel, the fine arts and sexual harrassment.
	Thejah Doriss, Princess of Mars The Princess is, well, she just is. President Perkins seems to like her, in any case.
	Magdalena Perkins, the First Lady Implacable foe of that womanising buffoon, the President, and all those who end up in his bed. Perkins himself would of course rather spend his time with an army of Bolshevik cockroaches than with his wife Magdalena.
	Herr Oberleutnant Fritz Freiherr von Schwulenbad German officer and implacable foe of the Decadent American Barbarians, except when the Orbital US and Germany are allies.
	Ching Ling Free-lance torturer from the Yellow Menacing Empire. Speaks in Haiku.